This how I wish I could dress for work.
I would at least feel a little protected,
with my collar up, protective head gear, and bodyguards in top hats
I am going to work today
at 12:30 pm and will work until 9pm.
Oh yeah....lucky me, I have a job.
Yesterday my boss, who is an owner of this HUGE furniture store
berated, intimidated, condescended, and mocked me
when I went in to go over an order with her.
All this was done with an audience of a co-worker, and office staff .
Sounds like fun right ?
Do any of you know what 'crazy making' is?
This is one CRAZY MAKING BOSS!!!
"Crazy making can happen in a variety of ways.
You are lead to believe that he/she changed his/her mind and you accept the last statement as what was meant. But later in the week, when the issue comes up, he/she says, "Well, I already told you such and such" which was the first thing he/she said. In short the discussion with you was set up so that no matter what happened the person can say that he/she did what was agreed. Note: 'crazy making' really will make you crazy after a while.
Crazy making is a guaranteed way to control someone because you can never be right. If a person requires two opposite things from you, point out that this is impossible and that you cannot do this."
I am not very happy this morning thinking about going to work to be ....
'who knows what' by her.
This is an incredibly toxic environment.
I had to leave work yesterday!
I had to just get out of there....
So I drove down to the ocean ( how lucky am I? ), smoked a ciggy and cried.
I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and drove right into a big design firm that I have passed a million times.
They are a top,top, top contemporary design firm here in Fla. Fla. land.
*And all over the design mags.
I went in and asked if they were hiring.
The original owner, the mom,
who I have known from my years at Bloomie's was sitting right there at the front desk.
She was sweet and asked me to send her my resume,
and explained (which I knew... and she knew I knew)
' how things are' right now in the economy.
And that only her son and daughter were working as designers right now.
So, back to work I went.
I felt so much better.
I walked back into the showroom, held my head high,
(and I happened to be dressed beautifully, thank g-d., I always feel better when I look sharp)
and put a big smile on my face.
Through the doors I went, and walked past everyone and back to my office, and back to work I went.
When I take 'action' to try improve my situation,
I always feel better. Even if I don't get the job, I still feel better.
I will continue to try to change my life for the better.
I will continue to keep my eyes open.
Maybe it's just me, but....
I have a problem when a person thinks they can treat you like an indentured slave.
I am not one.
How have you handled a situation like this?
I am open minded, let me know.
*BTW, the old me would have just quit....
I am not in a situation that I can do that.
But, oh how I wish I could!!!
Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her BLOG.....Interior Design, Palm Beach, Boca Raton,Ft.Lauderdale,Design Service, Window Treatments, TurnKey Interior Design Service,Paint selection, Floor-Plans,Online Interior Design,
Design Center of The Americas, D.C.O.T.A., Crazy Making Bosses
Dearest Indentured Slave,ReplyDelete
You took control and didn't let the slave master take over your entire mind. More power to you, my friend. xx
There are no better mindf'ers than therapists.ReplyDelete
Trust me on this. After 13 years I chucked the career thing and went to the garden fully knowing I was giving up most things material. I applaud your coping with this. Hopefully the economy will get better or your boss will die. Sorry to be so pessimistic. Evil ones on top are really hard to deal with. Good luck.
I think you did a very important thing by going into that other store to see if you could work there, the economy will level out so keep that in mind as you go to your sh.. job, keep smiling, stay confident and keep putting out feelers... Isn't it sad that some people have to down grade other people just to feel good??? Shows you how defective and toxic they are. Keep going out to have a ciggy and go right back in with a smile on your face, as they (boss) hate it when they can't upset you.ReplyDelete
home before darkReplyDelete
you my old friend said all that i was thinking!!!!
I HATE YOUR BOSS!!!!ReplyDelete
Hold your chin up, dear!ReplyDelete
You are very talented, hardworking and a freind of mine!
Now go forward, and thrive! You will and you will land on your feet. You always do, trust your heart and your "gut" instinct.
You are in my prayers,
Have a beautiful day!
you just brought a happy tear to my eye.
i am heading out now to 'the house of stix and stones.'
I had a boss like that once. I remember that feeling of dread. It really is the worst!! It sounds like your handling it the best way you can. Keeping your head up and always trying to improve your situation. It has to pay off eventually! Hang in there!!ReplyDelete
She obviously has issues and needs to belittle you in order to make herself feel better. I hate that! I once left a job I loved for that very reason. IT was a he and HE was weeding people out left and right! I thought about it for months- when I made my decision, I stayed on 3 months and put a smile on every day. When he said JUMP, I asked how high? I left holding my head up, knowing I had left things in great order. Not everyone can do that and I have had to 'adjust' things. You are soooo much better then this woman. She's into mind games. Keep up the good work ~ this will not go on forever! In the meantime- we are here-cheering you on darlin'.ReplyDelete
I used to be a career counselor in the mid 80's and here is an exercise I often did with clients: Imagine you were fired - what would you do to manage financially, look for better work in a more positive environment and leave behind the toxic situation, etc.ReplyDelete
Then, carve out time each week, to do those specific activities.
I think your impulse to visit the design firm is your inner self calling out. Based on your previous writings on this topic, I wonder if your "karma challenge" is not with the toxic boss but with giving yourself permission to live w/o mistreatment. I hope this comes across ok...you seem closer to making a move. Wishing you the very best.
How I adore you, RF! I so appreciate someone who takes life by the reins and plows ahead. "Crazy Maker" should realize just what a jewel they have in you!ReplyDelete
You're a doll, RF, and we think you are GREAT!
You are handling it bravely and wisely.ReplyDelete
Always good to enquire about other opportunities.
You are handling it bravely and wisely.ReplyDelete
Always good to enquire about other opportunities.
I had a job a couple of years ago for someone like this, lasted 7 months then QUIT! Yes, it's a sacrifice financially but I have not regretted it for one minute! You do have to give up material things but it's worth it to me to have my sanity back! Funny....I saw this person not long ago and she asked me to come back....after having gone through many people since then she didn't think I was too bad after all. You can never please these types of people. It is hard to watch evil people prosper but every dog has his day and she will! Hoping you get the other job or peace of mind soon! Hugs! LuanneReplyDelete
Be happy no matter what the circumstances, and you will attract more good. Easy said -but I'm working on that one too!ReplyDelete
this is what i mean!!!!ReplyDelete
i have come home tonight from the snake pit to you guys....
so full of love and encouragement for me.
when i have a hard time believing in myself and my situation....
there you are to lift me up with your faith in me.
i love you.
xxx's and a group hug please.
Your Boss is nothing but a school-yard bully who's moved to a bigger playground. Bullies always get their just desserts, just wait & see. Keep on truckin' girl, your clients are Numero Uno & will give you all you need. Take her in some cupcakes tomorrow just to confuse things.ReplyDelete
Aw, darn it. Glad you stood tall! ask the universe to put you in the right place for you. I'm walking with ya on the take action tip. Action always makes one feel better. Best of luck. Sending you good juju RF.ReplyDelete
I owe you a huge cocktail and an even bigger hug. From the start you've always impressed me. Life is not perfect and you don't hide that but you also show us that you don't let it knock you down. You stand up to it. I choose to hope that people such as dragon boss will get there's in the end, at some point. I need to believe that. I see so many, with so much & they are such awful people. I have to ask why? But, I keep on believing that being good, treating others respectful and kind, is how I believe we should live our lives. How about you come to Scotland with us? Andi is almost graduated & we can tie mother in law to the roof of the plane..(just kidding). I'm proud of you, very proud xxReplyDelete
i think you are right.
i will bring her cupcakes.
but i so want to give her NUTZ!
My sweet friend and 'sista',ReplyDelete
YOU are an amazing woman to put up with what you do. You did the right thing by going to the other firm and leaving your resume which is steller. Keep your head up and take the high road. Good words have been spoken by all here...this old biddy/bully HAS to be jealous of your beauty and your smarts.
Love ya Girl.
Renee, I've just found you. I love Deb at Dumbwit (she's not dumb). Your story is so familiar. Stand tall, take the cupcakes, dress beautifully & ask if there's anything else you can do. Keep looking for a new position, go online; make a huge effort. You're a beautiful woman. Get on www.millionairematch.com and see if you can meet someone wonderful.ReplyDelete
Where in Florida are you, BTW...I'm in Orlando for awhile, my daughter is with Hilton at their new hotel by the conv. center. XX's Marsha
So sorry to hear that you are having a bit of a time of it at work at the moment, but, knowing you, you will bounce back and head into battle...as you did last time. Is it that awful Medusa again ?
I love Mill's idea about the cupcakes except, I would cover it in cream cheese frosting and shove it in her face !!!!
Keep strong Renee. I know you will. XXXX
Get a job at McDonalds, because it sounds like youare in a no win situation with a miserable person. xo, MBReplyDelete
You know what you are worth Renee. Don't fall into that "crazy making" business. You work hard and work well. Write things down, keep organized and stay focuses. YOU are valuable.ReplyDelete
I feel for you, but you seem to have the courage to deal with this nut job, so you will prevail.ReplyDelete
Why not write down everything she says she wants done, and then read it through to her and confirm before carrying out the task. You can present it as a veneer of you wanting to improve communication between yourselves, so that there are no misunderstandings. I think she'll be more irritated than you!
Oh that sucks!!! My mother (who is in her late 60's now) worked up until last year for a whole DECADE at Raymour and Flannigan (mega furniture to the Northeast)and they made her life miserable. Standing on point to pounce on customers,mind numbing bosses like yours, and horrible hours. And this past year marched her in the office and told her she was no longer needed after ten years of dedicated service. So the next time you go to buy one of those ugly Cindy Crawford couches, know the big stores are EVIL. Ha!! I hope you got a chuckle through all this crap. I feel so bad!!!! Just remember what goes around eventually does come around. Especially in retail!ReplyDelete
First of all you are so brave to write about this.ReplyDelete
Funny how a ciggy always seems to be able to help solve a problem, or at least we think so, and they say quit ??!!!
I cannot think of a designer that has not been through this, even when self employed it can happen with clients.
That is the glamourous life of designers.
oh.....i love you for saying this.
and it is so true!