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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

He Can't Be Painted From Memory

Tonight I was speaking to my daughter (on the phone), my only child, my sweet little blonde angel.
Her 22 year old heart has just been broken.
( I don't dare share with her how that this is only the beginning.....)
Has anyone ever told you they don't love you anymore?
I have been told hits hard......and it hurts hard.

The song below is one of my favorites by Burt Bacharach, and sung by Elvis Costello.
I have cried myself to sleep listening to this song more nights than I would like to admit.

If I could take the pain for her I would...I know how to 'do pain.'
But I can't take hers.
It is her pain and her journey.
It is not mine to take.

But listening to the sadness in her voice,  and hearing her cry is almost more than I can bare.
But I will. 
And I will be there and I will listen.
I won't judge or tell her
I told you so.

Don't you agree that it is hard to 'shut up' when we need to,
and not try and fix every little thing ? 
When we really can't....
Because Time will fix it. 
And just being there is the most important.....I am hoping.


music :eymerichnapoli 
Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her BLOG.....
Interior Design, Palm Beach, Boca Raton,Ft.Lauderdale,Design Service, Window Treatments, 
TurnKey Interior Design Service,Paint selection, Floor-Plans,Online Interior Design, Design Center of The Americas, 
D.C.O.T.A. , Broken Hearts


  1. Oh, so sad. And yes, very hard. I have four kids; I can relate.

  2. Ooooh Renee, there is NOTHING worse than watching your child suffer. I would rather walk through glass barefoot. I'm so sorry, I know she's hurting but as a Mother I KNOW your hurting more. And as for just being there the logical part of my brain says yes!! That's the perfect thing to do- the other side of my brain says- Tell me his name- I KNOW people! I hope both your hearts heal soon!

  3. Bless her sweet, beautiful heart! She is so fortunate to have a mother like you to simply listen. Just knowing you are there for her means the world I'm sure. Sending hugs to both of you tonight!

  4. Anonymous01:05

    aw, darn it.

  5. It is so hard to say the right thing and not the wrong thing and it is even harder to say nothing when every fibre of your being can see that your precious child is headed for disaster...know that one so well Renee.. I hope her heart mends quickly and I am sure it will, that is the beauty of youth. xxv

  6. thanks mom, i love you

  7. angie-

    i love you angie.
    you are always there.
    and you know just what to say!

    btw....will your PEOPLE take care of this 'little problem' in sweden?
    my PEOPLE are busy this week.

    hugs & xx's

  8. You go Angie! Oh Renee been there and I am not sure who suffers the most!
    You just have to be there with lots of hugs and support bless you both and I hope this time passes quickly.

  9. Oh Renee,
    I've been there, done that. Our daughter broke her heart once, over a boyfriend. It was awful to listen to her. I'm afraid that it's something that we all go through and, it is supposed to make us stronger. She won't be feeling that right now but, it's best that it ends now rather than later.
    My neice went through the same thing and I made the mistake of saying to my sister that he wasn't right for her and that I wasn't keen on him and, they got back together and are married now !!!! I won't make that mistake again.
    All the best to your daughter and, time will heal. We know that but, I'm sure that she's not believing that at the moment.
    We can't take all of the pain from our childrwen, but we can be there when they need us, as I'm sure you are there for your daughter. That's all you can do. XXXX

  10. Jacqueline,

    i know...i told her that it was better that it happen now, rather than later too.
    you and i know that....
    but it is hard to HEAR when you are IN IT!!!


  11. i dont have children but i have experienced that with my darling niece (she is like my child at times) so i understand. your heart breaks so much and there is nothing we can do.

    your precious daughter knows you are there and always will be so that will comfort her.
    love from a mother is so incredible... xoxo

    i am sending a big hug to you... i know this cannot be easy for you...xx

    burt and elvis? dont get me started with that amazing collaboration. BRILLIANT. love them....

  12. I can feel your anguish and pain... there is nothing worse than to see your child in pain or struggle through life's lessons...

    she will get beyond the pain, and will be a stronger woman on the other side... just as we did...

  13. red ticking

    are they not THE BEST????

    hugs back at ya

  14. touching image, wise (and smart) words from mom, hauntingly beautiful song.

    if your daughter is anything like you renee......what a dumb j**k a**! but hey, this is chicago and we have "peeps" here too :-)

    all the women that responded have been through this pain personally and suffer to see our daughters endure this portion of life's journey. it is easy to say but "to get to the other side of the room you have to walk through it"
    big hugs

  15. Sweet Renee,
    I am so sorry for your Angel...nothing hurts worse than a hurting heart. Such good words already spoken, just love her and be an ear. In time she may seek some words of wisdom (if there are any!).
    love and hugs to you both....

  16. debra

    i love that saying....
    "to get to the other side of the room you have to walk through it"

    i may put that on my office wall.
    i can apply it to everything in my world.

    xx's and a big hug

  17. Renee, I guess this is what mom's are starts at birth and it never goes away..their pain is ours. One thing I have learned, with maturity, is that we must council with them and advise them of the ways of the real world, but not when they are in tears. Of course, she will survive, but I know she doesn't think so now.

  18. Dear Renee
    What a sweet mum you are.. I hope your daughter will feel better when some time has passed but right now I'm sure she appreciates and needs your comfort and willingness to listen.. love is tough.. I feel for her.. and for you worrying about her.. love the bittersweet image you found... says it all.. Take care Dear Renee..

    Ps sorry I have been so absent lately.. trying to catch up with everyone's posts .. think I missed a few.. have a lovely May Day and a lovely weekend.. xxx Julie

  19. Anonymous13:12

    任何事都是由一個決心,一顆種子開始。 ..................................................

  20. boy can I relate to this. my daughter has cried so much over this one bf that when she finally got over it and told HIM off, I was so happy for her. it breaks your heart to watch it.

  21. Yep I'm with Jac here. Keep it all to yourself & just be a support as you never, never know what might happen in the future. Have had to do exactly this with Son #4 & his on/off girlfriend over the past 3 yrs. What I'd like to say to him & what I actually do say are VERY different!
    Millie ^_^



Thanks for participating!!

About Renée Finberg

I have been in this business since the age of 22.

I love what I do and cannot imagine my life without Design.

Design Challenges are great.

And because of those challenges

I have imported fine antique pieces from Paris,

Designed and Manufactured Furniture,

Created Fantastic Window Treatments,

And solved all kinds of spatial & architectural issues

With my unique style.

If I can't find it, I create it.

My rooms would make excellent movie sets.

I am a visual, tactile and audio sensitive individual.

Creating is what I live for, not math, not spelling, not science.

Just Great Design.

Just imagine how it would be if each of us,

If only for a few hours of everyday,We could be in a space that is our very own.A place that is exactly the way we want it to be

Surrounded by all the things we wanted to see,

The atmosphere we wanted feel, smell and the sound we wanted to listen to.

Private Paradise



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