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Friday, January 8, 2010

Just Looking At This Makes Me Nervous

I will never be this woman.

Can you keep a secret ?

I will never be this woman either.
Lord knows my mother tried to make an organized person.
I rebelled. 
The first thing I did in my 1st apartment 
was to leave my clothes on the floor. 
I didn't even want to leave them on the floor, 
but I did
because I could!!!

This is not my laundry room!
Ahhhh....if only this were my laundry room 
and was this ORGANIZED.

This is

You guessed it.....
...not my office.

All this extreme tidiness and organization makes me feel nervous,
stressed out, and feeling a bit ' less than.'
Because I really do, I want to be organized.

    If this were someone else's desk,

and I were temped to borrow something.....

I would not.
I would be too freaked that I would not put it back
in the same exact spot.
Like I said.....
this much organization makes me nervous.
(and I guess it should)
''The obsessive-compulsive is at the extreme end of a continuum that begins with the person who, for instance, is scrupulously neat about his desk,'' said Blanche Freund, a psychologist at the Program for the Clinical Study of Anxiety Disorders at the Medical College of Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia." 

"Evidence from brain studies of people with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, done by teams led by Dr. Rapoport and by Lewis Baxter, a psychiatrist at U.C.L.A., suggest the involvement of a brain circuit that runs between the frontal lobes and the basal ganglia, a series of structures at the base of the brain.
Those brain areas are involved in coordinating what the senses register with how the body responds to it. Dr. Rapoport believes they may have a role, for instance, in patients who doubt the evidence of their senses.
''These patients will turn a knob to check that a door is locked, then start to doubt it as they are going down the steps, and go back again and again to recheck,'' Dr. Rapoport said."

The hardest lessen I have ever learned in life 
was that I need to TRUST MY GUT.
And isn't trusting your senses trusting your gut?

Don't get me wrong I am not a disorganized pig.
I am very CLEAN ( I promise ).
I just am someone who makes piles.
And when the pile is really gets tossed.
I mean how important can it be if I haven't  needed anything in the pile?
And trust me...........I know my piles!
And approximately what is in them.
I am very organized in that way. LOL

Can most of us agree
that most of us are not this neat?

Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD
is a personality disorder which involves an obsession with perfection, rules, and organization. People with OCPD may feel anxious when they perceive that things are not right. This can lead to routines and rules for ways of doing things, whether for themselves or their families.

I was already working on this post
when one of my best friends came over to have coffee and return something.
We have both been busy so we were catching up.
Her boyfriend ( who she lives with)
was just taken to a mental health facility
  ( nut house, loony bin, funny farm ).
He is the most annoyingly rigid,
and organized person within a 5 mile radius of where I live (maybe).
He is about 56 or so............
he just started not sleeping at night....
and continued  to be his uptight controlling self.
Still he was constantly 'directing the show' and anybody else's 'show'
that would listen.
*Ever meet someone who always knew the RIGHT WAY
to do something or the RIGHT ANSWER to a question?
Everything and Anything.
You can't tell them anything.
They already know everything.....
and if they don't know.....they bullshit their way through.
( and I don't like that )

Well, that is him.
*Extreme control of your environment through organization
of things (or trying to control the people around you)
is usually because you feel out of control.

He's out of control alright.
He's on his way to a very controlled environment right now,
which should have him feeling out of control.
But I guess that's their plan ( at the 'facility').
What ever issues he has, that feeling of fear,
being out of control, just being controlled by others
should bring all his internal garbage right to the surface.
I feel so sorry for him,
and my dear friend.
We are all very fragile
I know you are wondering if my 'dear friend ' reads my blog,
she says she does....I know she doesn't.
And I guess this will confirm it.
It is okay either way. I have said all this to her before his psychic break.
I had a feeling ...and was worried about her being in the relationship.

Last but not least,
this picture was titled 
" command  center."
( Scary Stuff )

Do you know someone 
who is wound really tight? ( besides me)
Are you neat as a pin?

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her BLOG.....

credits: NYT  , and here

Interior Design, Palm Beach, Boca Raton,Ft.Lauderdale,Design Service, Window Treatments, TurnKey Interior Design Service,Paint selection, Floor-Plans,Online Interior Design,
Design Center of The Americas, D.C.O.T.A., Compulsive behavior, Neatness, Organization



  1. My comment is who the hell has that many egg cups??
    A cafe?
    Hope your Girlfriend is OK.
    Is this guy Mean??
    I am baking a loaf of rosemary and
    black olive bread. It's 15 degree's outside. I walked the dog and he slipped on the ice.
    I almost went too. Mamma xxxx

  2. You crack me up! Though I must say when I see those images I think, oh that would be SO NICE to have that look! But alas, I'm not sure I ever will. And one day, I will learn to be totally OK with that. ;-)

  3. To funny- I know a few people like that. There's one that can suck the FUN right out of FUN!! It's the worst! Hope everything works out for the best in regards to your friend and her boyfriend. :)

  4. Renee,

    Life grants us certain coping stills either because we need it, or we'll use those skills to help others. I love love organizing and the freedom it afords me from mental disorganization. But I also understand, on an intuitive level, those who are both organized and unorganized I enjoy working with all types as long as they allow me to be me and don't diss my use of technology to keep me organized.

    I hope your friend got out of the relationship in time. I also hope that in 2010 more people trust their intuition it's the compass that guides your life and keeps you safe.


  5. yes,my dear sister its the neatest person i know,clothes by color, hangers facing one way, folded underwear, pencils facing one way and more, and if you mess something up she screams, i just don't pay attention and walk away,shes been like that since she was
    have a great day dear friend!

  6. bette

    my friend is still 'in'.


  7. I am a visual organizer, but not tidy. My husband wishes I were more organized but would miss my creativity. We've both gotten more flexible with each other in our years together. Having separate bathrooms help!

    I hope your friend uses this "time out" with her BF to realize BF is coo-coo.

  8. Oh, gee wiz! Did you write this post just for me??? I am so OCD it's not funny. Here's my deal: I want that closet, I want that laundry room, BUT I just can't make it happen. I'm a perfectionist. I can't ever get it just RIGHT enough. So that I don't join your buddy's boyfriend, I give up. I throw the towel in and MAKE STACKS TOO! (Don't you just love your piles?) Now, I'm learning that "imperfection" is a GOOD THING!

    (By the way, I think your Mom is adorable--and such a kind commenter too)

  9. home before dark,

    it is interesting....and a drag,
    she will stay.
    you know, and i know you do,
    water seeks it own level.

    her leaving
    would say to her that SHE
    made a bad choice.
    and she is pretty stubborn.

    i on the other hand
    do not like pain.
    and if i even begin to sniff a little 'crazy'in the air...
    i am gone.


  10. granny smith

    omg.....can you believe it?
    it's not such a bad thing to be a bit messy.
    it is actually is a sign of mental health!!!!
    ha ha ha


    ps mom is a hoot alright.

  11. i am so with you. these spaces would make me crazy.. i am a clean freak but love my "mess" here and there... a place has to look lived in... my friend "mikie's" pooch... benjamo... he is a real character...
    xx pam

  12. Hey Girlfriend,
    Oh my...I am OCD definitely. I HAVE to have things organized and SUPER clean BUT I can pile a bit in my closet for a day or two and then It's all folded (underwear too) and put away. I organized for people as well as design. I am not terribly rigid though, in that when I have friends over I want them to feel welcome and wanted so I don't mind papers and magazines tossed around. BUT as soon as they leave, ALL is tidied up right away. I realize it's MY problem, heehee. I have gotten sooo much better and more loose as I have gotten older, because I realize in the grand scheme of life, most of my craziness doesn't matter for a hill of beans.
    Great post. I like your twist on this as I was thinking of a post about organizing!

    love and hugs!


  13. Hilarious post! I do have clients that are incredibly neat even OCD where everything is exactly as we left it (after an installation), years later, even the garage!.
    Then I return to my house which is overtaken by 2 unruly mutts, 1 psycho cat, one teenager whose bedroom floor is a carpet of clothes and the older one whose small cottage is a deconstruction work in progress, add a husband who leaves a trail wherever he goes, clothes, papers etc... I give up! I try to be neat and organised especially since I have a frantic work schedule.....I dream of an OCD least I could relax and stop wining...

  14. francine,
    ha ha ha ha

    that sounds like a fun place to be.


  15. Yep, a bit too neat. My Mum is one of those people who checks all the powerpoints etc and when you are just about to lock the door, will go back and check thats what it is called! =0)

    I am very neat, but I can still have a mess on my desk and walk away from it with out another thought...and everyone should have at least one junk drawer right?
    Ness xx

  16. No I don't think I could be that woman either!

  17. That was simply wonderful...I smile,laughed and enjoyed...better go and get rid of a stack so I stay slightly in control hehehehe.....hugs H

  18. Actually my dressing room can look like that....for about 30 seconds after a major cleanup and certainly if it was to be photographed Yes, yes, yes!!! But truth be told I am a hoarder and my house is buried under a pile of books, clothes I might wear again someday, fabrics that could become curtains and four amazing dogs that cart everything from room to room.

  19. Ha hmmm Renee this was a riot to read as well as your comments! I will say I'm a "clean freak" (but it's only because we live on a farm and get tons of dust and crap brought in from the barn if we don't take off our know, normal) not so much a neat freak but I used to be worse when I was growing up. I would babysit for the worse house keepers in the world and I mean dirty dishes in the sink with food left in them for days (that's the other extreme...PIG as you stated well) and by the time the parents arrived home it was all neat and tidy and the kids were shaped up as well doing little fun crafts instead of fighting! They even helped me clean up their rooms! They always thanked me for what I had done but somehow had this dazed look on their faces like "where's all my STUFF"!? Every time is was back to dirty....frustrating but I just couldn't stand being there for hours on end with it looking like that! My confession is design mags! Piles! I've been on a cleaning jag but my rooms will NEVER look like the photos you's called a balance and the ones who have to constantly clean up everything and everyone is truly a mess!! Hope your friend sees the light....and she's lucky to have you as her friend to tell her the truth in love! Have a wonderful unorganized weekend! Luanne

  20. With your nose for sniffing crazy, I think you could have a future as a "beats the hell out of therapy" dog. I know I could have used that nose of yours a few times in my life. Having worked in PR for mental health, I'm hear to tell you it was sometimes hard to tell who was the client. Have a great weekend and hugs to you.

  21. it is so difficult to live or work in an environment with because they convince you that your 'messes' are lack of respect for others, lack of discipline and even lack of intelligence. yet when you break free from it and see that others are placing their stuff the same way as you, it is freeing. plus, no longer do you hear that constant nagging voice that you're always doing everything wrong wrong wrong. i hope your gf gets away. it takes more guts and strength to walk away than to fight then submit to the ridiculous,soul sucking situation. she'll lose herself.

  22. I *wish* my home looked like that ... it makes me feel guilty to see rooms so newborn clean & obsessively arranged. Clutter in my own home makes me very uncomfortable, though, so I try to keep things picked up and put away within a few days, at least. But what strikes me as really odd about myself is that I LOVE to sort little things such as seashells, buttons, beads, etc. as it's fun to see similar items

  23. This was great, Renee. You are hilarious. I have been a bit of a rigid neat-freak in the past, but after experiencing an obsessive ex, I decided it was time to for me to loosen up more (I never wanted to be like HIM!) and never let my love of organization cramp the style or comfort of people I love. The current state of my closet is proof that I have made much progress. LOL. xoxo

  24. ...are you talking about martha...and didn't she start all this...

  25. You funny. I feel for your friend. I feel for her guy. Life is just never so clear or So black and white. More gray...always changing shades of gray.

    Great comments too!

    I hear ya...I always feel I can read the tightys...pursed lips...uncomfortable vibe.My motto: Cork on the ocean. Roll with the tide.

    4 teens, a big dog...a husband that travels...A job...another job...Life is full. Life is very full. No room for second guessing myself. No room for wishing. Gotta say, I love where I am...most days...know it will change...too fast. So loving the imperfection (perfection) i got going on.

    Love ya Renee!

  26. It took ma a day to think about this... because I am actually both ways...much like being both left and right brained... a real dichotomy!

    I am so proud of myself when I am able to just let it go and not sweat the small stuff... but I just feel so much better when everything is organized and in it's place!

    I guess I'm just one of those crazies...

  27. laney,
    not talking about martha. but if the shoe fits.....

    she makes her living from selling organization, & all sorts of things for the home.
    i am doing a beautiful post on her furniture line (next week), which i adore.

    the post is more about other people...mainly ME.

  28. I work in a flower shop. it's chaotic, messy and very stressful at times. when i come home i like to walk into a peaceful, organized space. but i do live in 918 sq. ft. with a partner, a roommate and a 70 pound black lab. so forget my OCD leanings. still, the crazier my day at work is, the more i want control over my home environment. hmmmm, many things i cannot change, huh?

  29. I am an organizing freak! But I hate to clean. Funny huh?

  30. very interesting. i want to be that organized, i'm capable of it but just dont have time for it, hahahah.. who am i kidding? loved this. and ben says i should be a dr. or the pres. because i know everything. (I do, I'm sorry, but I do.)

    and i love that you are shrinking too.

  31. I couldn't be neat like this but I do like picking up an idea or two from your pictures to help out with family organisation...otherwise, I'm good at stuffing things in closets.



Thanks for participating!!

About Renée Finberg

I have been in this business since the age of 22.

I love what I do and cannot imagine my life without Design.

Design Challenges are great.

And because of those challenges

I have imported fine antique pieces from Paris,

Designed and Manufactured Furniture,

Created Fantastic Window Treatments,

And solved all kinds of spatial & architectural issues

With my unique style.

If I can't find it, I create it.

My rooms would make excellent movie sets.

I am a visual, tactile and audio sensitive individual.

Creating is what I live for, not math, not spelling, not science.

Just Great Design.

Just imagine how it would be if each of us,

If only for a few hours of everyday,We could be in a space that is our very own.A place that is exactly the way we want it to be

Surrounded by all the things we wanted to see,

The atmosphere we wanted feel, smell and the sound we wanted to listen to.

Private Paradise



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