The Layers Of This Onion or What Really Happened

I see a lot of this............

long roads in a rural setting.

*I am really putting myself out there for you

About

  The Layers Of  This Onion or What Really Happened

   

How do I put all that I want to communicate to you into words?
The last months have taken most of the layers off on this onion,
I am finding my 'CORE.'
                       
                                                                        ~~~~~~~~
           

I arrived in Maine on October 20 - 2012

I moved to my mothers home because

we needed each other. 

1st to go

Starting with my cabana at the beach in Delray, 

~~~~~

My beloved horse 

2nd to go

Georgian Gentleman

(barn name ; Hershey)

Then my showroom in Boca Raton

3rd to go

Which had meant so much to me.

The timing could not have been worse!!!

Just when I finally pulled everything together, 

after a life time of working in the field of interior design....

My career dream had been realized 

only to fail due to a dying economy in Boca Raton

(and everywhere else on the planet)

*

*

OOPS....

On the subject of the house sale ,

while I was selling the contents of my home...

I was robbed of all my jewelry.

I am telling you , this one about did me in.

I still try hard not to get upset when I think of it.

It was my nest egg.

Not anymore!

And then there is the new distance between 

me & my one and only child.

Andi.

Andi's Pinterest page 

http://pinterest.com/andilane/

This one is the real killer.

I have never been separated from her before.

Not even college, because she attended Univ. of Miami.

Virtually down the road.

Just a one hour drive if I needed my 'Andi' fix.

Now it is much different.

Much.

And it is painful. 

So, here I am in Maine -

with 2 nickels to rub together 

and what is left of my old life in boxes.

Maine is

PARADISE

if you do not need to make a living.

When I first arrived, I woke up everyday thinking;

Who the hell am I?

and 

Where am I again??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have wanted to live in Maine for 20 years...

...watch out what you pray for...

you just might get it.

~~~~~~~

I have been doing much searching of my soul,

under my soul, through my soul, and around my soul.

What does this all mean.

It had to be my fault.

Am I a failure?

Do I have worth?

I haven't posted because 

I wasn't emotionally capable.

The (material & emotional) loss,

there's still more feelings that I still can not express.

That is why I 'see someone' 

to sort all this out in my head.

It's helping.

I have literally been brought to my knees...

which as it happens ,

can be a very good thing.

I have become quite active in my community...

and have met some truly authentic individuals 

who have enriched my life in more ways than I can express.

(and I try and tell them as often as they will listen)

I can hardly get into the difficult job market conversation

which is virtually none-existent for someone with my design skills.

I do love 

what I used to do....

I need to start up my own thing,

maybe a fabric/wallpaper design shop.

*

Anyhow,

about my 'journey' ...

Recently 

I had ordered a book that was suggested by a very close friend of mine

who is aware of the depth of this 'journey' I'm on.

What does all that has happened mean?

What do I do now?

~~~~~~~~

Below is an excerpt from this book

which is mainly about the human condition of 'EGO'

In regards to EGO....

if  the universe wanted to knock me down a few pegs....

BRAVO!

Well done!

"Presto Chango"

Renee sans ego.

Yet there is still the very middle of me left.

The stuff in the center that no one can ever take away

from any of us

'The Core' that is deep down inside us all.

Now I guess it's time to get down to some emotional work.

My values.

My faults and my goodness.

~~~~~

All that was familiar for so long is gone.

My existence is completely different than what I have been used to.   

My comfortable home with everything just the way I liked it....gone.

The bits & pieces I do still have are boxed up in my mothers art house.

* a free standing building that houses my mom's artwork

'The  stuff ' for the most part

is gone.

 I am dealing with it today,

and I will do the same tomorrow and the day after...

....back in February I couldn't see the tomorrows.

Perhaps today I'm a better me ....

without 'the stuff'.

I am here 

&

It's beginning to be 'alright' you know.

Really, it is.

I am settling in here and can envision my life here as well.

Finding my niche is what has me frightened.

But the locals are very encouraging.

*

Everything is different.

Design...different.

People....different. (thank g-d)

Dress....different.

The seasons ...different.

I am just trying to find my way as graciously as I can.

Yet I feel sometimes ...like 'I AM' 2 left feet.

~~~~~

**Please do not feel badly for me...

(I no longer feel badly for me)

there must be a reason for all that has happened.

I just know there is reason.

&

 I know more will be revealed to me.....in time.

Maybe not in 'my time'...

but sometime...

hopefully sooner than later.

****

I know I have faults,

but I am 'good'.

I am trying to evaluate my core belief system.

Get rid of what I do not need 

and focus on what is real , 

true, and good in me.

* and in everyone else

After all....isn't that 'the stuff' that really counts ?

That's all for now.....

I hope this post has made some sense.

I'm off to polish up my core and

make a gratitude list.

Can you relate in some small way ?

p.s.

I am sorry for not commenting lately, 

or visiting, and mainly just being M.I.A. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You Mom

*Can you imagine my situation without her ???? 

But Mom,

stop all that baking!!!

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Loss, Maine, ego , relocation, finding yourself, Loss, Maine, ego , relocation, finding yourself, layers of the onion, core values, What Really Happened

A Sea Captains House in Nantucket

Since I live in a coastal town 'DOWN EAST' in New England

I was drawn to these adorable nautical knobs.

I looked for the source but could not find it.

(I did however find a rope pull at Anthropology)

I love the tall thin mirror above the sink.

What do you think of the rosie terracotta paint color?

I think it is great.

The designer has done a fabulous job bringing in contemporary 

touches to this traditional home.

What is it about painted floors that is so charming?

Above are the rope pulls that I found.

I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging again.

I need to start talking to you again about what is really going on....

but are you ready ?

Am I ?

love to all my blogging friends

oxo

A Sea Captains House in Nantucket
http://www.nehomemag.com/article/act-faith
Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Charlotte Barnes, A Sea Captains House in Nantucket, a sea captains house in nantucket, knotted nautical knobs, nautical knobs

Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING

USE 'NEVER WET' by Rust-Oleum®

I don't know why I am so fascinated with this product,

but I am. 

You can water proof and soil proof almost anything.

If you really want to find out what it can do watch a few videos.

Never Wet

is amazing.

You can water proof your I PHONE or any other electronic.

In one of the demo's the treated the mother board of a computer

and submerged it along with an I Phone for 30 minutes.

It was working while submerged.

I love how easy it is for fabrics.

Laminating fabric is costly, and you usually need a minimum of 12 yards.

After lamination the fabric is quite a bit stiffer, not to mention the time involved

in the process.

You  wait for the fabric, then you ship the fabric to the lamination company,

then you wait for the lamination, then you wait for the shipping return.

We are talking at least 6 weeks.

That is if you fabric is in stock, and you are 1st in line at the lamination company.

( Not likely on either )

Sweatshirt treated with NEVER WET.

Napkin treated with NEVER WET

Treating a toilet brush is brilliant.

No dripping.

AMAZING.

If you can use hairspray.....you can do this.
It is EASY!!!

Think of this;
you can use white fabric on those breakfast chairs
even with a house full of preschoolers.


I hope you check this 'NEVER WET' out.
You can pick it up at HOME DEPOT.
It is about  $ 19.00  and covers 15 sq. ft.



The video is below.                                        XXX's

• More About Never Wet HERE

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services,Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING,Never Wet by RustOleum, Better than fabric lamination, Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING,Never Wet by RustOleum, Better than fabric lamination,

A Home - Beacon Hill

Normally I am not a blue person....

it has to be done just right.

I really like when deeper blues are accented with green.

It has a great feel.

This is the outside of this home on Beacon Hill in Boston.

Federal Style  c.1828

You can't beat silver leaf { or gold leaf } walls for glamour!!

Cute and funky.

Character.....No?

Some parts of this home do not seem to be DECORATED.

I love a designer who can achieve high design

and create a home that still feels inviting and lived in .

I would hangout here, 

and I never would have used the colors and textures 

that were put together in this breakfast space.

It's Sophisticated.

Zinc covered desk.

I love the look.

See....

designed but, lived in.

Have a happy July 4th!

• read article HERE

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home,

A Child's Playhouse With A Living Roof

A Child's Playhouse With A Living Roof

How great is this??

go to the site provided below to visit the 

Peoples Garden in Boothbay Harbor Me.

Green Living - Roofs & Walls

• read article HERE

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services,Green Living - Roofs & Walls,A Child's Playhouse With A Living Roof, Boothbay Harbor,Green Living - Roofs & Walls,A Child's Playhouse With A Living Roof, Boothbay Harbor

It's Not The Destination, It's The Journey - To Monhegan Island

New Harbor where one the Ferry departs from on the mainland 

Just two days ago I went on a day trip to Monhegan Island.

It is an Island with about 60 residents, 

and until VERY recently there was no ELECTRICITY.

The INNS that you stayed at were all GASLIGHT.

Talk about 'checking out' when you are 

checking in to your vacation house or Inn.....

This is isolation....

this is a true 'escape' right here off the eastern coast of the U.S.

in Maine.

Article in the Boston Globe on the Artist's Haven - Monhegan Island

This is a snap of Monhegan Island while approaching. 

Manana is to the upper right side of the island creating a harbor

A close shot of the Isle of Manana which creates the Harbor of Monhegan Isle

But here is my story .....

On the way down to catch the ferry which would take us to Monhegan,

my dear friend gave me the wrong directions and we traveled 25 minutes 

out of the way.

When we finally got to the end of the peninsula ....

I said : "there is no ferry....we went the wrong way"

(we were on a schedule - we had to catch the ferry at 4:30pm

and it was now 5 minutes until 4pm)

She made a call and sure enough we were way off course.

But,

the entire ride on the wrong road

I kept saying over and over,

"This is amazing".

And I meant it.

It was a ride through coastal villages with small harbors.

...Breathtaking views of homes on hills hanging over the water.

Homes that made me wonder about the owners of these 'HOMES'....

just how did they ever find such a lovely spot?

Did they one day take a WRONG turn on the RIGHT road?

The villages were so cozy - forgotten by time and trends.

( not great phone reception here in Maine) 

I could have stayed in this area for days taking pictures,

but now I had to HURRY and turn around and find this damn FERRY!

My friend apologized....

I could see she felt badly.

I reached over and gently tapped her on the leg and said:

"Seriously, don't worry about it! 

This detour was gorgeous. 

Fantastic. I am glad we got lost".

And I meant it.

Lobsta' boat at the dock at Monhegan Island

We did make the ferry just in time.... 

but not without being totally winded from running 

down a very long road to from the car to the ferry.

Manana Isle creates the Harbor for Monhegan Island

I have been told these beautiful stories about Monhegan Island for years.

Everyone paints it as this magical place with breathtaking vistas.

This is what I saw as soon as I got off the ferry walking into the village.

(I loved these white flowers and would love to know what they are)

Monhegan Island has all pale grey/sandy roads.

There are a very few cars here, maybe 3?

Needless to say it is rustic....

Monhegan is about 10 miles off shore and was first established 

in the early 1600's as a plantation of sorts.

People have chickens,

because there is not much in the way of groceries.

In the winter months a mail boat comes 

about twice a week carrying supplies.

I really don't know how (year after year) you would live through winters.

These are the roads.

This is the path I followed up to the top of Monhegan.

The view on the walk up to the light house -

Here is a view from the top of Monhegan

The lush backyard of some Monhegan resident.

The last house on the path on the way to the village. 

 had gorgeous poppies in their front bed.

I loved this image and want to try my hand at painting it.

The point of this trip was to get to the Monhegan Library,

and this was the road to it.

This is the old apple tree in front of the old library where my group was meeting.

The library was incredibly charming and cozy.

It still blows my mind that 

they did EVERYTHING BY GASLIGHT until recently.

This place of course had 2 other rooms.

Every inch of the Monhegan Library was packed with people like sardines.

It was great.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to 

'TAKING THE WRONG TURN ON THE RIGHT ROAD'

You see, 

had I not been in a good place in my head and heart,

that 'wrong turn' could have really ruined my attitude for the rest of the trip.

Today I am trying to tune into something bigger than myself,

I try to do the next right thing that is in front of me.

....keeping it simple.

This big transition from Fla. to Maine had really 

knocked the wind out of my sails.

But,

'Today' I feel gratitude.

It is difficult to be thinking lousy thoughts

or 

feeling lousy when you are grateful.

The long and short of it is that Monhegan Island 

is over rated.

I don't really care 'WHO' stayed there!

It's nice, but my socks weren't blown off.

The very best part of the entire day 

was the ride down the wrong road !

And ...

in the dark, in the cold, and on the rocky seas I rode back on the ferry

while talking to a charming old man from Camden.

Being present in 'the moment' is this summers assignment for myself.

• Monhegan Island on PINTEREST

*MONHEGAN ISLAND FACTS*

• Monhegan: Abenaki Indian word
   meaning "the Island"

• Tallest cliffs on the coast of Maine
   at 165 feet

• Monhegan Light is the 2nd highest
   lighthouse on the Maine coast at
   178 feet above sea level

• Approx. 60 year round residents

• Approx. 1.5 miles long and three-
   fourths of a mile wide

• Capt. George Weymouth
   visits in 1605 and
   Capt. John Smith in 1614

• 9.8 miles between New Harbor
   and Monhegan

• One of only 14 remaining
   year-round Island communities

• Incorporated in 1839

• A seasonal water system is
   supplied by a spring fed meadow

• Ice was cut and stored for
   summertime use until 1972

• Central Monhegan Power Company
   established in the late 1980’s

• The Federal Government installed
   the first telephone during WWII
   to communicate with lookouts

• Monhegan Island Light
   constructed in 1824

Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Monhegan Island, wrong turns, gratitude, Maine's beauty,
Monhegan Island, wrong turns, gratitude, Maine's beauty, your heart in the right place