I have received emails from a few of you wondering where I have been.
Well...
I don't really know.
I have found myself working in a job that is ....
let's just say
another lesson in humility.
I say that and it may sound like a bad thing
but
it is not really.
Some of us need that sort of thing.
We need to be brought right back down to the basics in life.
As far as blogging....I have lost my way. I don't have a clue
as to who I am up here in Maine.
(and I love Maine)
G-d has some sort of plan for me ( I tell myself that) and I keep looking for the cue card...
....I haven't seen it yet
I actually am afraid to blog.
This blog may really become something else,
and I am not sure I am okay with that.
I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK.
(just up here)
And that would be the career aspect
not the part with a wonderful relationship.
I had NO big relationship with a wonderful man.
I am telling you, it is such a foreign place here in Maine, I am trying to reinvent myself.
I haven't dressed since I got here.
It's just not that kind of place.
They wear North Face, Patagonia....you know excellent cold weather wear.
And my gads of jewelry...forget about wearing any of that.
I would stand out like someone from 'AWAY.'
Yes.
That is what they call anyone that was not born in this area...
the 'AWAY' people.
At work they say ;
" oh, they must be from 'away' that's why..."
I am trying to get it together to get a job in the only 'TRADE' showroom in town.
It's a fine tile and stone company.
They already have someone working there (and most places only have 1 person)
and I bet she is not from 'AWAY.'
hahahahah
Here is some good news....
I have taken up snow skiing again.
I loved skiing, second only to the ponies.
The winters are so long and last year I ended up in a bad way....!!
So, this year I decided to take up skiing again. I did and now
I am excited when it snows!!!
There is a ski resort right here in Camden Maine called the Snow Bowl.
You can see the ocean when you ski.
Pretty cool.
There are about 50 ski resorts within 2 hours of where I live.
My birthday is next week and my mom bought me ski boots
and the skis are on the way as we speak.
I am thrilled.
It is my most exhilarating time here.
~~~~~~~
You can ski until you are much older.
(something to look forward to)
There is a woman in one of the ski clubs that is 82.
and lift tickets are free if you are over 70 yrs old....sweet.
I am trying to find my voice again.
I just feel completely strange, I mean it.
I don't know what's next, I just go through the motions and wait.
Love to my friends
xx
Ski Resorts in Maine click here
Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton and Rockport and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services,I Have Been Tired and Lost
Oh Renée,
ReplyDeleteI was so pleased to see you pop up on my sidebar but, when I read that you are not enjoying things at the moment, I really felt for you. Maybe you're just in limbo at the moment and should enjoy the freedom !! ….. perhaps you could get a job at the ski resort ….. that could be fun although, if it's anything like the UK, there are very few jobs to be had.
Try to keep positive Renée ……. something will turn up, I know it.
Love to you and Yvonne and, while you are waiting for that dream job to arrive, just enjoy the snow !!
…. and, as far as your blog is concerned, please don't be an ' away ' person….. I've missed you. XXXX
julie
Deleteyou are so sweet.
thank you.
Dear Renee
ReplyDeleteI swear we have some sort of parallel life happening. Hang in there I feel you! I'm moving house tomorrow and once I'm settled I'll email yourself and Yvonne
I know it's hard to blog when what you want to do is scream. I find I just don't write much for fear of letting it all go ha ha you're a better man than I Gunga Din (sp?)
Lots of love to you both. PS it's too hot and humid down my way ciao ciao xxx julie
Ooh nearly forgot Happy bloody birthday for next week xxx
ReplyDeleteThat's how we say it in Aussie speak
Renee so good to hear from you! I have found myself having more of a challenge to get around to all the blogs as regularly as I normally do but do my best, however was so happy to see your post! I think people go through these lulls in blogging, its the natural ebb and flow of anything creative. Sometimes it just flows and other times well it just runs dry. Hang in there, the beauty is its your own ship and you get to charter it however you wish!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you post on your skiing? There are so many people infatuated with Maine and the lifestyle just getting to see that aspect through your eyes would be a treat.
You will find your way, sometimes it requires a few zig zags in the road but I have every confidence you are well on your way I am happy to hear you are liking it there, thrilled you took up skiing...being outdoors and breathing in that fresh air is a natural healer in my book.
Sending early happy birthday wishes your way....may it be the best year yet!
oh....i am zig zagging for sure....
Deletei will keep to the path and enjoy the amazing beauty of my new home.
glad to hear that i am not alone in my creative stall.
love to you xxx
Dear Renee, so glad to see you surface again, even if it is to bear your soul and your life's quandary. I totally understand what youre going through and I hope you find peace in letting your blog friends know what's going on cause they will give you encouragement and support you! I am happy you are skiing. I never heard of seeing the ocean from the slopes before- that is so cool. I wish you a wonderful birthday and year ahead and that you find yourself. Best wishes and godspeed. xo Nancy
ReplyDeleteas usual...thank you for the acceptance and encouragement.
Deletexxx
Dear Renee, you are a beacon of honesty and you do know that I can relate.There are times when we just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, as much as we try to stay positive. One thing I would say is that you don't have to become like all the rest. Shine your light, even if it is a bright lipstick or great pair of earrings. You are an incredible unique woman with so much to give, please remember this!
ReplyDeleteLove and Hugs,
Karena
The Arts by Karena
So good to see your post. I keep missing you in the morning. What do you mean you can't wear jewelry, we need a bit more class here, wear fur, too. it is a good place for that. Shine your beauty, having some away style might be just what we need. What is wrong with being from away? Happy birthday early. Peter
ReplyDeleteRene it is always a pleasure to see a post from you. I had been wondering how you were getting along in your new/ old stomping grounds.
ReplyDeleteI for one would love to hear all about your new life and your area. I am in love with Maine.as I am sure there are many others who would enjoy hearing about it.
I hope you find some peace and solace in your skiing and your new life.
Take care of yourself and please don't be gone so long. We miss you
You just take your time honey, it'll come when it's good and ready. Until then, be kind to yourself, love yourself. It's all good and when it does turn around for you it will feel even better! Just good to see you're still out there. I've missed you!
ReplyDeleteMuch Love.
Di
xoxo
oh Di,
Deletei have been just doint 'the next right thing' everyday and waiting.
i know something's got to give!
love you xxx
((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSometimes it helps to write down what brings you joy. All the little things. And just love them, do them, make a habit of them.
It sounds like you don't feel like home in Maine, so… enjoy the skiing and make the 'home' in your heart.
You don't have to fit in with anyone else. Be your own special self. It doesn't matter if you aren't dressing like they do, or you are from 'away'. All that matters is that you make a life you enjoy. If you like wearing jewelry, do it at home, for yourself. Make rituals you do just for you. Make a ceremony out out making a great cappuccino in one of your pretty china cups, order fresh flowers and arrange them in your bedroom as a gift to yourself, add some custom embroidery to a patagonia jacket, use your imagination and your flair, and do whatever it is that makes you feel loved, appreciated, valued and treasured.
Fitting in is the curse of the unimaginative:)
Shine your light BRIGHT. Let them follow YOU out of wonder, out of wishing they too dared to do something new and pretty and well, just wonderful, even as wonderful as a bunch of pink balloons inside your entry way or macaroons on your kitchen counter wrapped in cellophane with a pretty ribbon and then given to the first person you see every day when you are out and about, or, well, you get the idea.
:)
Hey there, Renee you didn't look too tired on the ski's coming down that slop.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to see you come home.
Mamma
Hello again on Sunday Renee. Just came back to check and see how you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking again of your comment that your new job is humbling - humbling because you are doing things now that you started out doing in your first job (meaning you're already at the equivalent pHd level being asked to do elementary school tasks)… OR humbling because the owners are unkind to you.
If it's the former, I know you'll just do it flawlessly and be an example for the other employees of how someone does a truly great job:)
If it's the latter - quit if you can. Wherever you earn your paycheck, you are worth being treated with respect and basic kindness/courtesy.
Then again, being transplanted to an entirely new place…
Sometimes we feel so unhappy about what's out in the world, we forget to look around our own nests and see what is precious that's already there - or that we can make anew for the nest, or see anew in the nest.
Putting our roots down:)
The five gratitude things we write down first thing every morning on notepad that we keep. It really does help perk you up.
No matter what the weather - is there something amazing in it?
The marvel of a snowstorm, the beauty of clouds, the life-giving drench of the rain for the plants, the sweet warmth of the sun coming out in spring, the hot days where the blazing sun gives us the vitamin D our immune systems need.
How about getting a big pot of water, simmering it on the stove, slicing up an orange, tossing it in the simmering pot with a cinnamon stick or two, and a sliced lengthwise vanilla bean?
Or whatever you favorite scents are? You can buy almond extract, wintergreen, apples, lemons, fresh ginger, cloves, almost anything that you feel makes your house smell FABULOUS to slice up, drop in and simmer away for an hour or two:)
Or the pleasure of a new bar of triple milled soap and how rich the lather is?
How soft your hair is when you brush it a lot?
How silky your sheets feel against your skin when you slide into bed at night?
The pretty color of a favorite flannel nightie or shirt/sweater/scarf.
The yummy thing you got at the market that you love to eat, and isn't it great that nature has it / farmers grow it / the market has it so that your tastebuds could enjoy it at that meal?
The sound of birdsong? Or of an amazing song from our favorite singer of way back when? Louis Armstrong's 'Wonderful World' always does it for me, anything from the old Rogers & Hammerstein's musicals, or… whoever you love to hear!
A phone call from a friend who you know totally has your back and says just the right things so you feel listened to.
The affection of a pet, or even getting to pet somebody else's friendly dog when you are out on a walk and see their tail wagging hello.
The one house in town that has a really pretty something about it - a pretty front door, a leaded glass window, an inviting front walkway, a great porch, a well tended lawn / garden, or even if they keep the snow swept off of their driveway neatly every day!
The grumpy person you see in town who you can find something to compliment them about - the color of their lipstick, their nail polish, the puffy warmth of their gloves that keeps their hands toasty - and all of a sudden you get a smile from the grump that totally transforms their face.
I hope I don't sound silly or bossy. It's just that sometimes we hurt, we feel emotionally drained, tired, lost and stuck in the unhappiness of it all.
And looking at these 'little' things (which really aren't so little at all) literally gives our hearts encouraging hugs every single time and makes us feel better that moment about our personal world.
cyber xoxox to for and with you at all times and in all ways, as my blog friend Anita from castles crowns and cottages would say!
So many geese that have your back...hoping to provide lift 'til you are flourishing once more.
ReplyDeletei am so glad you read that post.
Deleteand thank you for reminding me!
xx :)
R....I have been away too. Almost a year! It took an "event" to get me back. I noticed that you were away because I checked in on several of my favs every once in awhile. I feel different online today. I'm not sure what that holds for my blogging, but am going to see what happens. I have lived in the same beach town the whole of my life. Your Maine "adventure" both excites and scares me...with a bit of jealousy thrown in. Keep typing, please...your good....k
ReplyDeleteHi Renee, I too was glad to see you "pop up" on my side bar. I fee compelled to tell you that God does have a plan.... don't look for the cue...you probably won't SEE it.... things just happen.... I KNOW things will get better as you continue on this journey. I love that you are skiing again...that is a GOOD thing... you will find your way... i know you probably are asking "when...??? when???"..... sometimes things don't happen in our time... but I can tell you they do happen in "HIS"...... (((hugs))) oh..and be persistent and go for a job in that showroom...1 person can't be there 24/7....they must have a day or two off.... go..get dressed, put on some lovely baubles and a gorgeous scent.... and be a "HERE" person! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great day, today and tomorrow! Thinking of you!
ReplyDelete;)
Have a great day, today and tomorrow! Thinking of you!
ReplyDelete;)
oh Renee, I just read your post yet ...sorry for the delayed answer. When I lived on a small island in Thailand I had the same feeling and I missed so many things. Always dressed in the same way, sloppy, casual no make up, becase I only shopped at Tesco with nearly naked people around. I felt sooo terrible and I knew I have to change it. Now it happened and I can dress up
ReplyDeleteagain, going to a nice restaurant, concert etc. You have to change otherwise you wither as a flower. Nonono.