Saturday, December 4, 2010

And yet, I found myself hunting a dead...

There is a new man at work and his name is something like Bernard Buttwipe. He has made it very clear to all that will listen (or not) that he is untouchable because he has married into the family that runs the corporation that I work for.
In fact the very biggest and most controlling member of the 'Hare' family is now his father in-law,
The gal he married is his stepdaughter.

He is disliked by all. 
He is arrogant, he comes in late, leaves early and refuses to help out with the tedious duties
that we all have to take part in.

He can't or won't learn the system on the computers.
It's beneath him.
Everything is beneath him

We listen to him introduce himself at the door to people like this;
" Hello, welcome to Hares. And if you are interested in anything, just remember, 
I can get you the very best prices. 
Remember, I am in the Hare family". 
Anyway, 
as you might imagine 
we are just waiting for Bernard Buttwipe to bury himself.
Then a friend of mine calls me into her office to tell me this-
One of the Hare's customers that had purchased 10K worth of furniture at the Palm Beach showroom
decided to come into the Boca Raton store (where I work) to show a friend what they had purchased.
Bernard greeted them at the door and ......
Soon after that they drove very quickly back to the Palm Beach store.
When this customer arrived 
they went straight in and directly to the store manager.
Fuming.
Where they proceeded to tell the manager that they met a man in the Boca store
named Bernard Hare or that he was in the Hare family...
Anyway this man suggested that I cancel the order and that he could get me much better prices.
In my book

This IS STEALING!

But I was at work.
Trying to sell.
I couldn't get his shitty, shitty behavior out of my head.
His mere presence is toxic.
And now he has it in his head that he wants an office in the design department.
That's where I live and breath.
I will die.
He spies on the sales people.
He takes sneak pictures of people not wearing their jackets,
putting their feet up in their offices, or whatever else they could be doing wrong...
I don't get him.
And he mocks the real 'Hare' who is the niece of the 'Big Hare' 
and my boss who I have become very fond of.
I just get this sleazy vibe, a treacherous  vibe when ever I am near him or talk to him.
I try to stay clear of him-
without having any eye contact.
Or as little as possible.
I don't know, I just know that when his mouth is moving -
he is lying.
He was caught doing something that he was not supposed to be doing,
He tried to get out of trouble by blaming his behavior on someone else.
Guess who that was?
You got it!
ME!
I wasn't even in the building at the time!!!!
I was starting to feel really naughty-mischievous.
I thought to myself.....
there are always dead cockroaches laying around and upside down
in this place.
It was about time to close the store,
it was my 'Friday' (but really a Wednesday night)

I just wanted to find one.
Just one.

I felt the least I could do would be to put a roach in his business card box.

But while removing my binoculars, and taking off my cockroach safari suit...
I just shook my head and started to laugh out loud.
By the 5th day of work every week I go a bit mad.
You know we can imagine anything at all 
as long as we do not act on it.

I can dream.
Can't I?

but just in case.....
i think i will have my head checked out.


What is the worst thing 
you ever fantasized about doing to a coworker?

if it is Saturday-
I'm at work  XXX's


Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her BLOG..... Interior Design, Palm Beach, Boca Raton,Ft.Lauderdale,Design Service, Window Treatments, TurnKey Interior Design Service,Paint selection, Floor-Plans,Online Interior Design, what is the worst thing you ever did to a coworker, roaches, liars and cheats
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18 comments:

  1. He obviously has the male equivalent of 'no boobs'!
    People like that eventually bury themselves let's hope the eventually is SOON!
    I can feel confession time coming on...but...perhaps just not yet!
    Have a wonderful weekend and don't let worms irritate you, they are just not worth the angst!! xx Jules

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  2. You have me smiling big time Renee...wanting to serve him a cockroach cluster...I love it! xv

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  3. vickt

    a cockroach cluster.....hmmmmmm
    NOW THERE"S A THOUGHT!!!!

    xxxx

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  4. jules,

    hi baby doll,

    thank you for your comments.
    but, truly,
    tell tell tell on yourself.
    what have you fantasized about doing to a coworker????
    i bet it was a good one.
    xxx

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  5. Oh Renee,
    Bernard sounds a right b*****d !!!!
    I thought that the Medusa and her sidekick were bad enough but he takes the prize. Take deep breaths Renee and see if you can find a nice juicy cockroach.....or, maybe a rat !!!! XXXX

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  6. I am a computer consultant who, for the most part, works at client sites. But occasionally I work from the consulting firm office, crammed into a 12' X 15' room with four other consultants. Most of them are great guys. But not Morley. Morley is a self-centered, arrogant, whining know-it-all. It doesn't matter what topic the rest of us are discussing, Morley the Know-It-All butts in with the "definitive" answer. Even on topics he knows nothing about. And he never backs down when proven wrong. The rest of us are all wrong and he is right. So now, whenever Morley starts pontificating on the topic-of-the-moment, I just mouth the words "blah, blah, blah, blah ..." repeatedly to myself while waggling my head back and forth. It doesn't stop him, but it makes me feel better!

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  7. You are hilarious!!! I've only had one bad experience at work years ago. I was 8 months pregnant with my son in the dead of summer. 100 degree weather and every part of me swollen. I normally was a level headed woman but in this condition I was in no mood for bullsh*t. My boss was a hot tempered, emotional woman who I felt was the very reason the rest of us females never advanced to higher positions. Anyhow, I was an assistant for a Title Officer on a high liability desk in Title Insurance. I worked for 8 years to get where I had and was leaving on Maternity leave. My boss decided that her niece who had been the receptionist for about 2 weeks was going to go ahead and handle my desk for the time I was out. I had 2 weeks to train her to learn what I had in 8 years. The neice of course was not getting it and my boss felt that it was somehow my fault that she wasn't. She decided to call me in her office and scream at me. I calmly told her "I am not one of your stepchildren. If you would like to continue this conversation you are going to need to calm down and stop screaming at me" She didn't. I got up and walked out in the middle of her screaming. I waddled to the complete other side of the building to inform the big boss that I was quiting effective immediately. He of course told me to go ahead and take the rest of the day off. The entire drive home I thought about running her over. A little worse than a "cockroach in box" but I blame it on the pregnancy hormones ;)

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  8. I had a hideous manipulative, controlling sicko of a boss. Did I mention she was a PhD psychologist? When I left that hell hole, I would look in the obits everyday to see if she had died. I told this to a neighbor who had also worked for the bitch and he was taken aback. It took 17 years, but the day after I told the former co-worker, she DID have her obit in the paper (at the unripe age of 69). The neighbor was shocked, confused but IMPRESSED!

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  9. HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA.
    What an ass! He shall find his hole - believe you me!

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  10. you guys......
    i feel so much better!!!!

    maybe i should start reading the obits too.

    and angie.....
    you?
    i can't believe anyone would flip out on you.
    what an evil bzitch!

    xxx

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  11. Wow...he sounds awful! (you totally should have done it! ):)

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  12. Hi Miss exrerminator. I can hardly see this screen,I am in the lobby waiting for a ride back to Bayside. I cracked up over this post. Stay away from the Hut.
    Talk to you when I get back to Maine
    Mammaxxxxxxx

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  13. oh please i cant say it here! he he

    kick him to the curb.... xx

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  14. Great post Renee; as you know stay the course and he will get his!
    Karma has a way of doing that in situations!
    L.

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  15. the zhush

    oh....after today i wish i did!!!

    xx

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  16. Just remember sweet girl, that when Bernie baby rolls over in bed & gives the old come-on to the person on the other side it's not you!!!! That is a small mercy I'd be very thankful for. I'll put MOTH onto the case, he is sooooooo good at plotting paybacks for evil co-workers!!
    Millie ^_^

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  17. Renee,

    Fear based individuals live within a tornado existence. They don't know who they really are and are terrified to find out...so they don't. So when you see those types coming at you be mantra ready simply say: I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy. Grace, grace, and more grace and so it is. This too shall pass!

    Bette

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  18. bette
    i needed to hear that.
    he is taking up 'space' in my head.
    as always.... thank you

    xx

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