I really mean overwhelmed.
There is very little business going on.
People are just not
beating showroom doors down to buy furniture.
Well, at least not here in Boca Raton, Florida.
And what decent work I have in front of me....
I just can't seem to 'get centered' and get it going.
You know... the tedious stuff,
the drawings, the estimates from workrooms, the phone calls, and the follow ups....etc, etc.
Boring and tedious this designing life can be.
I have also lost a close male friend of mine this past week.
He had struggles, and they were not money struggles,
relationship struggles, or health struggles.
He was 52 and I think he may have died of a broken heart.
He was misunderstood in more ways than I could begin to explain.
He loved poetry.
He would read it to me for hours, or until I begged him to stop...
or I just fell to sleep....but he would keep reading.
He loved it so.
And if you ever met him
you would never believe this guy was into poetry.
He put up very tall walls to keep people away
He always lowered the bridge for me.
Like I said, he was my friend.
I will miss him.
Who knows, someday he may be reading poetry to me again.
I am underwhelmed and overwhelmed
at the same time.
I have a bad habit of not dealing with 'events',
if you know what I mean.
I am so busy trying to keep up with all I have 'to do'
that I just stuff my feelings into some 'feelings closet'
so that I can just keep up with the 'beat of my drum.'
I am feeling irritable and discontent.
Not good.
I think I will make some brownies.
XXX's
Restless too? I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Not surprising you lost your center.
ReplyDeleteIt will return. Chocolate does help. So does a big hug, I'm sending you one. Fell a little better?
Give time time. xoxo Jane
jane
ReplyDeletethe hug did help.
love you xx
may you find your balance soon.
ReplyDeleteOoh brownies do sound good and they are soothing. You know I'm a deal with it all to the point of exhaustion kind of girl. That tends to make me forget entirely about the "to do" list. I'm not sure if either of our ways are healthy ones but I guess being aware of it is half the battle right? I do hope you have the chance to beg him to stop reading poetry to you once again. Hang in there! ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, Renee! I am so sorry to her of the loss of your friend. It's so very unfortunate. My modus operandi in these situations is always, "what am I supposed to learn from this"? I'm so glad that he got to experience your tender, kind heart. I know you made a difference in his life.
ReplyDeleteHugs, hot coffee and gooey brownies to you! I wish I were there to share the entire pan with you.
Renee, I have sent you a return email about mindfulness and then saw it was a noreply so you may not get it. Check out Jon Kabat-Zinn and his book Full Catastrophe Living. I hope this helps and if you did get the email it goes into more detail.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and also sending big, big hugs. xx
Losing a dear friend makes one feel so many things but also dead inside, where so much becomes meaningless. I am so sorry. I know you will come out of this and be as brilliant and creative as ever.
ReplyDeleteKarena
Art by Karena
Love your honesty Renee! Sorry to hear about your friend...it's very difficult to care about work stuff when personal stuff is so overwhelming! Hope you get your inspiration back soon! Tracey xx
ReplyDeleteHI Renee
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the loss of your friend.. very sad... I hope he has found some peace now.... and I hope you can open the 'feeling cupboard' and let some fresh air in....
Sorry I haven't been over lately... been away from blogging for a bit trying to deal with 'stuff' hahaha... hope this week brings you some joy!! xxx Julie
Renee,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please take comfort here and may peace seek you.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
~Mary Elizabeth Frye~
Bette
granny...
ReplyDeletesharing my brownies with you is something that i would love to do.
...someday
xx
Would a couple of weeks Down Under help sweetie? It's Winter & freezing cold, but the fire is warm & cosy. MOTH's on the final stretch of the Bathroom-From-Hell & needs a Cheer Squad to edge him over the line. Maybe it's time to use your Get Out Of Jail card, you'd be very welcome.
ReplyDeleteMillie ^_^
millie
ReplyDeleteyou brought sweet tears to my eyes.
oh....i would love to.
like i said, maybe someday.
i would love love love to spend time with you!!!
love you xxx
A hot gooey brownie is poetry. Celebrate your friend's love for you.
ReplyDeleteOh Renee,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that you have lost a good friend. No wonder you are feeling the way you are. Something so sad like that can really bring you down.
What is good is that you can vent all of your feelings to us faceless 'lot', which is brilliant as we have no other agenda other than wanting to help and make you feel better.
I guess that these events are just part of everyone's everyday lives and they can bring us down.
Go and make batches and batches of delicious brownies Renee, and eat the lot.
Look after yourself and try to keep 'up'. Will be thinking of you. XXXX
I think it is a sign of the times. Try to keep your chin up dear. It is hard to remember, in times like these. Be thankful for you, yours and all that you are able to do. For such a time, the world was spinning so fast; it has now slowed down quite a bit. Enjoy that time and let your inner you relax. The rest will come in due time.
ReplyDeleteL.
I think that is why I am a decorator...I do not deal well with reality, so I just change it.
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky that we get to be creative and let it out. K
thank you to my dear friends,
ReplyDeletei am listening.
xx
So sorry about your friend....no wonder you're feeling blue. It sounds like you had a lovely relationship.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about work, sometimes it's hard to get excited when it's the same old thing. Potato chips work for me more then chocolate!!!
xxx
Carole
Renee, I could have written this post. I am feeling the same as to work and last month a childhood friend of my brother and myself committed suicide-52, It is painful.I am sorry for your loss. pgt
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your friend's death.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about getting motivated... I'm supposed to be putting together a room storyboard and I just can't get the energy to do it... it is a job that is one of those far and few too and I should be thankful... I think you and I need a pep talk from your mother!
Hang in there... you're not alone!
fifi
ReplyDeleteuh oh...............
trust me.
that's no pep talk!!!
it's more like
"do or die"
hahahaha
xx