I finished an early morning appointment. with a client.
I don;t really know what it was, but it was 'something'.
that made start to feel anxiety about walking in to the store.
...I never know what I am walking into.,,,and that is my issue,
the fear of the unknown.
And that single thought in my head....can get me pretty worked up,
Oh, yes, it did.
By the time i got to the showroom, I was already getting clammy and dizzy.
And let's not leave out nausea accompanied by the feeling of being overwhelmed.
I couldn't stand the thought of working until 9 Pm tonight with PEOPLE!!!
When a new person walks in the door; " IT'S SHOWTIME "
OMG.....all the People i will have to attempt to connect with,,,,,,,eeeeeeewww
*it is often worse that watching or living through "FRIDAY THE 13th"
Some shoppers I believe may have had a supporting rolls in this film.
So I actually asked to go home because I wasn't ' feeling well.'
I could never have told that her I was having panic attack.
She doesn't 'get me' on a good day.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
xxx
*And I know, I know....
I have been working on the panic issue for years.
...but once in a while he pops up again
Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her BLOG.
Interior Design, Palm Beach, Boca Raton,Ft.Lauderdale,Design Service, Window Treatments,
TurnKey Interior Design Service,Paint selection, Floor-Plans,Online Interior Design,
Design Center of The Americas, D.C.O.T.A.,panic attacks,taking care of yourself
Thoughts are they are real, real, real. I never had one until I was (eek) 50'ish. You feel like your having a heart attack. I think it's your bodies way of saying, the situation is not healthy for you Renee. I wish I honestly could whisk you away to somewhere French and fabulous and we could drink, shop, and most of all laugh away the days, our woes and talk about our dreams. It's time to really live and be happy. What can we do to make that happen? I'm here for you my friend. xx deb (I hope your feet are up & your blood pressure is low?)
ReplyDeleteI understand completely and have the same feelings at times. I try to "breathe", I say 10 really deep consistent breaths slowly in a row helps and exercise...and, I HATE to exercise but it makes me feel better always. The anxious feelings wane a bit. Hope you feel better. And, sometimes we just need a day off for goodness sakes!
ReplyDeletesorry to hear RF. deep breathes. trust in you to do your best. stay grounded. write a couple of positive strength things & keep them in your pocket. listen to music. distract yourself, do not give into the madness. come from your big strong place. you can do it. really, trust in you. hope tomorrow is an easy day for you.
ReplyDeleteRenee, I know exactly how you feel. Having spent most of my life in luxury retail and always having to put forth a professional, confident and witty personality is very difficult. Tequila shots work for me (no more than 2). My daughter has panic attacks which are REAL. Her doctors, all of them, insist she take clonazapam. Not telling you to get into the habit, but the medicine is made for those kind of moments. I also think we are mostly independent women on these blog, and for us this kind of struggle is truly unbearable. I wish I could hug you.
ReplyDeletexxOOOOOOOxx's Marsha
PS, Read the beginning of my story of internet dating and let me know what you think. Maybe we can collaborate on something fun which could actually make money.
ReplyDeleteGood decision to do a runner sweet girl, you are better off away from that place when Miss Panic rears her ugly head. All the kids are going to an AC DC concert tonight, I wish I could send you with them. Lots of loud head-banging music, sweaty bodies & relaxing 'herbal' medication, the perfect way to forget the worries of the day.
ReplyDeleteMillie ^_^
I'm a veteran panic attacker since the age of 30. I feel your pain girlfriend. Just don't let it get the best of you.
ReplyDeleteHey Renee
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your bad day... it's not much fun to constantly feel squeezed and looking over your shoulder!! I think you did right to go home.. sometimes i think we can just feel the tension around us... I know I do and get told i'm wrong or mad for thinking so.. but if that is what you are feeling then just stepping away and taking a breather helps... Hope your down time did you the world of good.. xx Julie
Oh Renee, I know the feeling so well! have suffered from panic attacks and general anxiety for years. I do have a little white pill for really bad attacks but try hard not to. For me night is a bad time which is why my blog is generally written at 1.00 a.m. Sweet, you really really need to get away from that place as soon as you can. Look after yourself Julienne xxx
ReplyDeletePanic attacks are very real and you did the right thing. Do what you feel is best always Renee and trust your instincts...it is usually the right way. Hope you are feeling happier and more relaxed today, xv.
ReplyDeleteHi Renee:
ReplyDeleteI wished that my business were better, that you lived in New York and I could whisk you away to my Interieurs Showroom. I have had panic attacks...after I had my first child...OMG... what am I doing...a very serious one when I turned 30...I am not a CEO of a huge international corporation yet..... when I get into a plane and they shut the door.....and a few at work. I worked them through with a wonderful woman, a healer whom I saw every week for about 3 years...Now, when I have a case of pure uncontrollable fear (which with my new showroom move, tough business, 2 kids in college...I experience rather often) first I go outside..walk, run..and I do resort to a pill. My sanity is being close to nature. I have been known to spend entire nights in the woods, alone ,trying to capture the essence of life. Your relationship to your employer is not the essence of life, it is only what allows you to financially live...for now. Take a day off, she cannot fire you for that...use your sick days...be yourself.
Renee, you really should look for a new job. This one is going to take a toll on your health. You are too talented to have to cope with that daily.
ReplyDelete{{Renee}}
ReplyDeleteYou took a mental health day. Good for you! I always let my kids take one from school every now and then (and allow myself to) The caveat being to do something outside and physical for a bit. I think you need to go riding...cross country...jumping stumps, wind in your hair.
You are a smart, strong woman...your answer will come.
Peace.
Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit. ~Bern Williams
ReplyDeleteWe make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill
Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. ~Victor Hugo
I tried to send you a quote hug but it didn't work so here they are anyway. Enjoy
Renee -I'm a pretty private person, and am only sharing this because I adore you. I can completely feel for you. I think I was born having a panic attack. When I had to go to pre-school, I'd have a panic attack in my mom's closet before going, then continue the attack in the bathroom of the school. Everyone told my mom that I'd grow out of it.... I didn't. The only thing that has gotten better, is that as I get older I realize that I'm more important than the situation. Also, I've learned to listen to my body, as you've listened to yours. You know best.
ReplyDeleteA big ol' virtual hug to you!
xoxox
s.
my g-d!!!!
ReplyDeletewhere would i be
without all of you????
your comments make me feel like i am 'OKAY'.
and that is the best kind of feeling.
not to mention....
i feel loved as well.
thank you all.
i am trying to figure out what to do about to day.
should i go in...late?
or take another day?
xxxx
Renee,
ReplyDeleteKeep a journal and write out exactly how you feel. Break it down and decide how much longer this will go on. It's all about choices. Start searching for your next venture. Put your requests out to the universe. Write it down make it happen! You won't have this day back again and your life is not a do over it's NOW.
Bette
True, feels like a heart attack..., I had an anxiety attack two years ago, triggered by an hospital TV show! I couldn't believe it, but it brought to the surface all the fear I harbored at once. If I only felt safe and trusted life..., that's what it is for me.
ReplyDeleteOhh Renee, I feel your pain- sort of. I've always suffered from anxiety and once I had children it got out of control. The fears may not be real but the symptoms sure are. I'm not a fan of medication but in my case there was only so much deep breathing and searching for rational thoughts I could do. I hope you find something that soothes you. It's no way to live!!
ReplyDeletemaya
ReplyDeletewe have so much in common.
xxx thanks for sharing xxx
So sorry for you feeling that way Renee.
ReplyDeleteA funny bit for you, today I stood out on a street corner for over 5 hours a( a busy intersection in our city ) with a friend & fellow mom to hold up " vote yes" signs for a school bond election today. Most people honked & waved there was the occasional "finger" & even shouting & screaming at us for holding signs. A real interesting thing, as I have never done this before but it means books, libraries, classrooms and athletic improvements for my kids schools.
So anyhow, no panic attacks today, just some very sad and unhappy people out there!
Hope your day was good and you are feeling better!
Now on to a meeting this evening ( a girl has got to work too)!
Have a wonderful night,
wishing you inner strength & peace!
L.
Don't know what to add to this outpouring of love. I get 'em too, though not as many as I did 23 years ago. Now I yoga breath, say the Serenity prayer (chanting it about 5 times to myself actually works) therapy helped and talking to people.Maybe give someone a call as soon as these feelings arise, being reminded that you are not alone will go a long way to allying your fears. And go to a m---ing. And then another one. this too shall pass. I can guarantee it.
ReplyDeleteNothing to add, except my affection and hope that you get out of that place soon. Panic attacks are real, and they can really kill. Save yourself.
ReplyDeleteOh Renee, you have lots of wonderful blogging friends.
ReplyDeleteYou have to get a grip. COPE
You have normal anxity. Walk or prussed lip breathing, take a bubble bath , play happy music.Normal Anxity
apprehension, can't concentrate, tense, mind goes blank, dread of the worst..
OK the Earth has shifted on it's axis, That's your worst dread it just happened and we are still here.
Normal anxity headaches,sweats,fatuge pounding heart,,,,,OK too much coffee, you have to relax.. nothing will change. unless you change.
Advice is cheap.
love Mamma feel better
I know what that feels like, Renee! I am sorry, sweetie. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! xo
ReplyDeleteBreathe and remember they are all weanies at work anyways! xxoox to you
ReplyDelete