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Showing posts with label RELATIONSHIPS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RELATIONSHIPS. Show all posts

Saturday, March 3, 2012

‘About The Business Of Remaining Alone’


‘About the business of remaining alone’
It is a constant battle.
Well, not so constant….there isn’t always interest…
From my side or theirs.

‘This Business’  
The Battle I wage on myself-
To protect myself
It is so strong and loud inside me.

Most of my life I could just wash ‘THAT MAN OUT OF MY HAIR’
-then the break up came along.
It was 12 years ago that I was suckered into a relationship with the nicest NARCISSIST 
You would ever want to meet.
No.
REALLY.
The perfect’ Doctor Man’ for me.
The man I thought I was supposed to marry.
{but it was also his idea}
I finally let those tall stone walls down around me
and let the man in.  OOOOPS
I loved him completely. I never thought I would do that.
Or frankly….that I could do that.
After a year or so… things got strange.
That’s when the lying started.
And the crazy making began
– people lying to you….will make you crazy.

But to make a hideously long story shorter.
This man BROKE ME.
I will never be the same.
In the past 3 weeks
{Because I am networking -and networking is not my cup of tea}
I have met two men.
One was okay ,
But I had to get rid of him 
for reasons that would make a decent TV movie of the week
-that I don't want to star in.




there are no ridges left in my CD of this song
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then comes along # 2
I could tell you all the details but the facts of the matter are……
He also is a narcissist …. Insanely charming, charismatic,
Sometimes handsome {this one was}
sexy, and made you feel like you were the only one in the room

By date two
I was beginning to be BUMMED OUT because I knew in my heart…..
This was the danger zone I was entering.

The perfect doctor that I described earlier
Made me doubt any and everything I said and did.
CRAZY MAKING
My self-esteem was flushed down the toilet on a daily basis.
Not to mention….I did not want to wake up.
Not Ever!!!

So, when I saw this image 
it brought back the whole ugly place I was living in!!
And yet it reminded me
….the only way I am safe…..is alone.

PS I do take responsibility for my own short comings, In these failed relationships.
I am better off alone. Mainly because I never get lonely.
What is this girl to do.?

Accept the way I am?
or
Take RISKS.
{i am too fragile emotionally}

I just don’t have what it takes for a relationship.
It is just too compromising.
Yea, that’s it.
Maybe I just don’t want to play by other peoples rules.
Translation: she doesn’t play well with others – IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

So......What do you have to say to this post????
i am quite exposed.


xx Hugss and lots of them


Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Owner of 'The Trade' Interiors, ,Boca Raton,Palm Beach,Boca Raton Florida,All custom upholstery,case-goods,window treatments,Antiques, Accessories and Antique accessories, built-ins, and all built in seating, bedding and pillows,Roseta Santiago Works Of Art, ‘About The Business Of Remaining Alone’, ‘About The Business Of Remaining Alone’, relationships, narcissists, narcissists,

About Renée Finberg

I have been in this business since the age of 22.

I love what I do and cannot imagine my life without Design.

Design Challenges are great.

And because of those challenges

I have imported fine antique pieces from Paris,

Designed and Manufactured Furniture,

Created Fantastic Window Treatments,

And solved all kinds of spatial & architectural issues

With my unique style.

If I can't find it, I create it.

My rooms would make excellent movie sets.

I am a visual, tactile and audio sensitive individual.

Creating is what I live for, not math, not spelling, not science.

Just Great Design.

Just imagine how it would be if each of us,

If only for a few hours of everyday,We could be in a space that is our very own.A place that is exactly the way we want it to be

Surrounded by all the things we wanted to see,

The atmosphere we wanted feel, smell and the sound we wanted to listen to.

Private Paradise

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Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Adventures in Design by Renee Finberg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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