Friday, July 26, 2013

The Layers Of This Onion or What Really Happened

I see a lot of this............
long roads in a rural setting.

*I am really putting myself out there for you
About
  The Layers Of  This Onion or What Really Happened
   
How do I put all that I want to communicate to you into words?
The last months have taken most of the layers off on this onion,
I am finding my 'CORE.'
                       
                                                                        ~~~~~~~~
           
I arrived in Maine on October 20 - 2012

I moved to my mothers home because 
I had lost everything-
(and we needed each other)
1st to go

Starting with my cabana at the beach in Delray, 

~~~~~

My beloved horse 
2nd to go
Georgian Gentleman
(barn name ; Hershey)

Then my showroom in Boca Raton
3rd to go

Which had meant so much to me.
The timing could not have been worse!!!

Just when I finally pulled everything together, 
after a life time of working in the field of interior design....
My career dream had been realized 
only to fail due to a dying economy in Boca Raton
(and everywhere else on the planet)

*

Then.....
I short sold my home of 29 years.
(4th to go)
(...and that's it for the material stuff)

*

OOPS....
(5th to go)
On the subject of the house sale ,
while I was selling the contents of my home...
I was robbed of all my jewelry.
I am telling you , this one about did me in.
I still try hard not to get upset when I think of it.
It was my nest egg.
Not anymore!


And then there is the new distance between 
me & my one and only child.
Andi.

Andi's Pinterest page 


This one is the real killer.
I have never been separated from her before.
Not even college, because she attended Univ. of Miami.
Virtually down the road.
Just a one hour drive if I needed my 'Andi' fix.

Now it is much different.
Much.
And it is painful. 


So, here I am in Maine -

with 2 nickels to rub together 
and what is left of my old life in boxes.


Maine is
PARADISE
if you do not need to make a living.

When I first arrived, I woke up everyday thinking;
Who the hell am I?
and 
Where am I again??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have wanted to live in Maine for 20 years...
...watch out what you pray for...
you just might get it.
~~~~~~~

I have been doing much searching of my soul,
under my soul, through my soul, and around my soul.

What does this all mean.
It had to be my fault.
Am I a failure?
Do I have worth?

I haven't posted because 
I wasn't emotionally capable.

The (material & emotional) loss,
the shame, the embarrassment....
there's still more feelings that I still can not express.
That is why I 'see someone' 
to sort all this out in my head.

It's helping.

I have literally been brought to my knees...
which as it happens ,
can be a very good thing.

I have become quite active in my community...
and have met some truly authentic individuals 
who have enriched my life in more ways than I can express.
(and I try and tell them as often as they will listen)

I can hardly get into the difficult job market conversation
which is virtually none-existent for someone with my design skills.

I do love 
what I used to do....
I need to start up my own thing,
maybe a fabric/wallpaper design shop.
Lord knows....it's s desperate situation 
for anyone looking for nice fabrics.

But for now,
I will not even consider anything like my own shop .
I am still licking my wounds from the last one.

In fact 
I lick my wounds everyday while wearing an ORANGE apron.

Yes 
you heard right!!
OMG
Has it come to this??
You can find me in DECOR and not selling nuts & bolts.
*Thank G-d for a small favor

There I said it - and I didn't die.
There ...
'the cat's out of the bag'.
I hope your'e not as horrified as I was,
and on occasion still am.

*

Anyhow,
about my 'journey' ...

Recently 
I had ordered a book that was suggested by a very close friend of mine
who is aware of the depth of this 'journey' I'm on.

What does all that has happened mean?
What do I do now?

~~~~~~~~

Below is an excerpt from this book
which is mainly about the human condition of 'EGO'


In regards to EGO....
if  the universe wanted to knock me down a few pegs....
BRAVO!
Well done!
"Presto Chango"

Renee sans ego.

Yet there is still the very middle of me left.
The stuff in the center that no one can ever take away
from any of us
'The Core' that is deep down inside us all.

Now I guess it's time to get down to some emotional work.
My values.
My faults and my goodness.

~~~~~

All that was familiar for so long is gone.
My existence is completely different than what I have been used to.   
My comfortable home with everything just the way I liked it....gone.
The bits & pieces I do still have are boxed up in my mothers art house.
* a free standing building that houses my mom's artwork


'The  stuff ' for the most part
is gone.

 I am dealing with it today,
and I will do the same tomorrow and the day after...
....back in February I couldn't see the tomorrows.

Perhaps today I'm a better me ....
without 'the stuff'.

I am here 
&
It's beginning to be 'alright' you know.
Really, it is.


I am settling in here and can envision my life here as well.
Finding my niche is what has me frightened.
But the locals are very encouraging.
*
Everything is different.
Design...different.
People....different. (thank g-d)
Dress....different.
The seasons ...different.

I am just trying to find my way as graciously as I can.
Yet I feel sometimes ...like 'I AM' 2 left feet.

~~~~~

**Please do not feel badly for me...
(I no longer feel badly for me)
there must be a reason for all that has happened.
I just know there is reason.
&
 I know more will be revealed to me.....in time.
Maybe not in 'my time'...
but sometime...
hopefully sooner than later.

****

I know I have faults,
but I am 'good'.
I am trying to evaluate my core belief system.
Get rid of what I do not need 
and focus on what is real , 
true, and good in me.
* and in everyone else

After all....isn't that 'the stuff' that really counts ?


That's all for now.....
I hope this post has made some sense.

I'm off to polish up my core and
make a gratitude list.


Can you relate in some small way ?


p.s.
I am sorry for not commenting lately, 
or visiting, and mainly just being M.I.A. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Thank You Mom
*Can you imagine my situation without her ???? 

But Mom,
stop all that baking!!!

Follow Me on Pinterest Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Loss, Maine, ego , relocation, finding yourself, Loss, Maine, ego , relocation, finding yourself, layers of the onion, core values, What Really Happened

Monday, July 22, 2013

A Sea Captains House in Nantucket


Since I live in a coastal town 'DOWN EAST' in New England
I was drawn to these adorable nautical knobs.
I looked for the source but could not find it.
(I did however find a rope pull at Anthropology)


I love the tall thin mirror above the sink.


What do you think of the rosie terracotta paint color?
I think it is great.



The designer has done a fabulous job bringing in contemporary 
touches to this traditional home.


What is it about painted floors that is so charming?



Above are the rope pulls that I found.

I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging again.
I need to start talking to you again about what is really going on....
but are you ready ?
Am I ?

love to all my blogging friends
oxo






A Sea Captains House in Nantucket
http://www.nehomemag.com/article/act-faith
Follow Me on Pinterest Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Charlotte Barnes, A Sea Captains House in Nantucket, a sea captains house in nantucket, knotted nautical knobs, nautical knobs

Monday, July 8, 2013

Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING


USE 'NEVER WET' by Rust-Oleum®



I don't know why I am so fascinated with this product,
but I am. 


You can water proof and soil proof almost anything.
If you really want to find out what it can do watch a few videos.
Never Wet
is amazing.

You can water proof your I PHONE or any other electronic.
In one of the demo's the treated the mother board of a computer
and submerged it along with an I Phone for 30 minutes.
It was working while submerged.


I love how easy it is for fabrics.
Laminating fabric is costly, and you usually need a minimum of 12 yards.
After lamination the fabric is quite a bit stiffer, not to mention the time involved
in the process.
You  wait for the fabric, then you ship the fabric to the lamination company,
then you wait for the lamination, then you wait for the shipping return.
We are talking at least 6 weeks.
That is if you fabric is in stock, and you are 1st in line at the lamination company.
( Not likely on either )





Sweatshirt treated with NEVER WET.


Napkin treated with NEVER WET


Treating a toilet brush is brilliant.
No dripping.
AMAZING.






If you can use hairspray.....you can do this.
It is EASY!!!

Think of this;
you can use white fabric on those breakfast chairs
even with a house full of preschoolers.


I hope you check this 'NEVER WET' out.
You can pick it up at HOME DEPOT.
It is about  $ 19.00  and covers 15 sq. ft.



The video is below.                                        XXX's



Follow Me on Pinterest Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services,Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING,Never Wet by RustOleum, Better than fabric lamination, Easy Easy Easy : Water & Soil Proof ANYTHING,Never Wet by RustOleum, Better than fabric lamination,

Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Home - Beacon Hill



Normally I am not a blue person....
it has to be done just right.
I really like when deeper blues are accented with green.
It has a great feel.


This is the outside of this home on Beacon Hill in Boston.

Federal Style  c.1828


You can't beat silver leaf { or gold leaf } walls for glamour!!




Cute and funky.
Character.....No?


Some parts of this home do not seem to be DECORATED.
I love a designer who can achieve high design
and create a home that still feels inviting and lived in .

I would hangout here, 
and I never would have used the colors and textures 
that were put together in this breakfast space.

It's Sophisticated.



Zinc covered desk.
I love the look.


See....
designed but, lived in.


Have a happy July 4th!




Follow Me on Pinterest Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design,Boca Raton and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home, Beacon Hill, Federal Historical Home,

About Renée Finberg

I have been in this business since the age of 22.

I love what I do and cannot imagine my life without Design.

Design Challenges are great.

And because of those challenges

I have imported fine antique pieces from Paris,

Designed and Manufactured Furniture,

Created Fantastic Window Treatments,

And solved all kinds of spatial & architectural issues

With my unique style.

If I can't find it, I create it.

My rooms would make excellent movie sets.

I am a visual, tactile and audio sensitive individual.

Creating is what I live for, not math, not spelling, not science.

Just Great Design.

Just imagine how it would be if each of us,

If only for a few hours of everyday,We could be in a space that is our very own.A place that is exactly the way we want it to be

Surrounded by all the things we wanted to see,

The atmosphere we wanted feel, smell and the sound we wanted to listen to.

Private Paradise

AS FEATURED IN:

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Creative Commons License

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Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Adventures in Design by Renee Finberg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.reneefinberg.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at reneefinberg@gmail.ocm.

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